~Bedtime Beauties~
The Platting Princess...Mercy loves to braid her babydoll's hair and is quite good at it!
What a cutie!!
Well, the last 2 days, my morning has begun between 4:30 and 5am with my sweet African Beauty ...she awakens and makes it very clear she will not be going back to sleep...she motions with her eyes that she would like to go downstairs..we hold hands as she awkwardly lumbers down the stairs (I don't think she was exposed to stairs in Liberia!) I take her to the refrigerator and ask her what she would like and she quietly whispers, "Meat"....so, I fix her a bowl of chicken and rice or whatever meal is leftover from dinner(from all of our wonderfully generous friends) and she polishes off every last smidge of food...then does the same with 2nd and even third helping ( I make sure the portions are small to start!) I can't explain the emotions swirling in my heart as I watch both of our Liberian children literally devour their food...I am so grateful that now that they are home, they will, Lord willing, never have to go hungry...but I imagine what it was like for them living in their homeland and my heart breaks :( Again, I need to trust that the Lord who loves them more than we ever possibly can will restore the years that the locust has eaten and will heal them of whatever hurts their little hearts have experienced in the years preceding their adoption.
After Mercy fills her belly, we climb back upstairs and she has a difficult time falling back asleep...I see her watching me but when I look at her, she avoids eye contact...soon I feel her playing with my hair and softly touching my face...I think these are good signs that she is reaching out to let me into her little heart...I need to treasure these tender moments because there are other times where her strong, obstinate spirit is boldly displayed and I sense her pushing to see just how far she will be allowed to go.During these times, she will literally turn her back on me and refuse to follow instructions...it seems the best thing to do is to go on with whatever I was doing and let her swallow her pride and come back to me when she is ready. We did have a major breakthrough today in this area ...yesterday afternoon we decided to go out in the van as a family...both Mercy and Odesco howled and pitched a fit when asked to get in their carseats (remember: riding in a vehicle is totally foreign to them and on the rare occasion that they did , no carseats were used!)We had quite a challenge getting them securely latched in and we decided to go for a drive to acclimate them to this...we drove through a Mc'Donalds once everyone was calm (took about 30 minutes!!)and bought french fries to share to try to salvage this experience and create a positive memory- food is definately such a motivator for them and for now,so early on it seems to be an effective tool. Because Mercy is older, I was able to show her the traffic lights and explain the colors and what they mean...so, we began playing a game..."The light is red,Daddy-STOP...the light is green, Daddy GO!!" I also was able to talk to her about how we respond obediently when asked to do something with a ,"Yes, Mommy or Yes, Daddy" response and when we returned home we practiced getting back into her car seat (with the van parked in the driveway )when asked and of course, made a huge deal of her "Yes, Mommy " and following obedience. This morning we talked and she told me,"I will not cry" when I mentioned we'd be heading out in the van today. True to her word, she was chipper, enjoyed looking at the Christmas decorations and playing the light game. We heaped the encouragement on her!
Odesco can be such a happy, smiley fun-loving ticklish little fellow one moment and withdrawn, cold, and so very sad/angry the next. We had several major meltdown episodes today when he was told "No". It seems like his response is delayed and a few minutes later he begins to cry...if we approach him, he lashes out, refusing to be comforted...this same thing happened yesterday and after a 15 minute tantrum on the floor, he allowed me to pick him up ...we came downstairs and he sat on my lap while I fed him his breakfast and drink...again, a good sign that he was allowing himself to depend on me..instead of being willfully independent.Today, it was a different story as he had one of these major episodes just moments before we needed to leave for their first Doctor's appt...he was a mess almost the entire ride there but calmed down once we got to the office and sat in the waiting room where a video was playing. The exam was a different story...he sat for part of it and when he decided he had enough, we moved onto Mercy...Odesco however was just warming up...he spent at least 45 minutes inconsolably screaming on the floor of the exam room ...the TB test and initial immunizations didn't do much to cheer his mood and you can imagine what an ordeal it was to administer the immunizations to both kids.{Mercy stared down the doctor and basically wouldn't open her mouth, turn her head etc. until I persuaded her with some meat I had stashed in my mini-cooler-an idea I got from Jenkin's mom who went through this yesterday and brought chicken to their appointment!. She suddenly became a bit more compliant...chocolate chips for me, Ham/chicken/beef for Mercy...quite the contrast!!} After the exams we waited in the room for more than 20 minutes with Mercy trying to escape and Odesco continuing his antics on the floor...eventually I went out to let them know we were just going to leave and was told they were now ready for the dreaded shots~ By the time we left, we were all exhausted (and I was on the verge of tears), including the very patient and understanding doctor and nurse!! At this point M took Odesco out to the van (he was still wailing-no shoes, only undershirt on...) and I worked on getting Mercy out...she decided she was not going to come willingly and I had to carry her out as she tried to squirm and wriggle out of my arms screaming at the top of her lungs the entire time.I even had to walk back in once Mercy was in the car, to retrieve all of our stuff that neither one of us could carry due to all the commotion. I hope this will be an opportunity for God's glory to shine forth in future visits as He continues to work on their hearts...oh, wouldn't it be nice if that could happen as soon as Thursday when I need to take them back in to get their TB skin test checked?!Once in the van for 10 minutes or so, both kids settled down and we again did the french fry thing again....they were both giggling and smiling before we got home!! Odesco had one more major meltdown this evening before bed...difficult to know why...after a happy , smiley bath time , he became extremely sullen, stood silently in his room with only the towel I had wrapped around him and refused to let me rub lotion onto his very dry skin ...he also would not allow me to let him get dressed so once again, we decided to back off...sure enough, a few minutes later, the tears began and eventually he allowed me to comfort him and get him dressed. B2 is so tender hearted for his little brother and was literally in tears over this behavior tonight. I asked if he was crying because of the changes happening in our family and he assured me that his tears were regarding Odesco's deep sadness...wow, what a tender heart. M wisely encouraged his tenderhearted love and reminded him to bring his burdens to the Lord, because it is only He who can heal Odesco's hurting heart. we were having a snack which to our biol kids means the sweet goodies that have been sent by our friends providing meals...for Odesco and Mercy, this means MEAT...so, I offered, meat to Odesco and he refused to make eye contact . I left it on the counter... a few moments later, he had it in his hand and he was quietly eating it at his seat . I told B2 that this reminds me of us...we are adopted into God's family and often, not approachable or grateful in the least... God extends His hand to offer us a feast at His banquet table and we foolishly refuse...until He breaks through our stony, prideful hearts we can't receive all the good gifts He longs to give us...just Like Mercy and Odesco often won't willingly receive our love in these early days....slowly, slowly I believe He will break through the untilled soil of their hard hearts ...one day, we will see dramatic change but for now, we will not despise the day of small beginnings!
Now for some neat moments/tidbits:
*Mercy knows her colors, ABC's, and how to spell her name(with no formal schooling I was shocked she knew even this much!!)
*Without prompting, Mercy began folding napkins to set the table for dinner :)
*Odesco and Mercy are with prompting beginning to ask for things more appropriately -instead of just demanding.."I want..." they are now saying,"Please/Thankyou...May I please be excused...etc
*Mercy and B3 spent over an hour today braiding their doll's hair...it is amazing to see Mercy squat there and braid like all the African nannies she surely watched in the orphanage...
* Life with African children is an adventure...simple things like light switches, running water from a faucet, battery powered toothbrushes are awe-inspiring in them!
* I "caught"Mercy and Odesco singing "Jesus loves me" together as they motored around the kitchen on little radioflyer scooters...this was after they blankly stared at us this morning as we all tried to get them to join us in a song...they acted as if they'd never heard it before...imagine my surprise when I heard them singing this just a few hours later...they know alot more than they are letting on...
*Adopting an older child sure has it's benefits: I love to ask Mercy questions like'
" Did you wear shoes in Liberia?"...The answer was, "No" which explains why walking seems so awkward for them at times...they aren't used to heavy, cumbersome sneakers!
*Both Mercy and Odesco came home without the photo albums we had prepared for them...Mercy told me she gave it to a specific nanny to keep for her in the small room...I'm hoping this will make sense to those who can help locate these impt books!! She also told me she looked at it often before she came to America...I am sure this has helped to prepare her heart for our family...
So, though it was at times a discouraging day, there were many bright spots and I am so grateful these little ones are finally here with us. How painfully patient the Lord has been with me...it is obvious that this will not be a simple, effortless transition. We may be out of circulation longer than I had originally anticipated to give the kids time to settle in...their entire lives have been uprooted so it really is no wonder that we are having these issues...My boundary lines have fallen in good and pleasant places...He has assigned me my portion and my cup...these issues are no surprise to Him...
Remembering once again that He will provide every grace needed to parent all 6 of these blessings...
His Grace is Sufficient!!
Thanks for checking in...and special thanks to all who have so generously provided meals for our family...you have no idea what a huge burden this has lifted as our days seem to revolve around mealtimes...to not have to think of what to prepare for 8 has really been a blessing!!
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