Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Our First Christmas together...

~ Christmas morning...modelling their prairie bonnets ~
Christmas morning...Best Buddies in the making! Mercy, Mommy K and sweet Felicia!

Jenkins and Odesco- This picture makes me smile!!


"And man shall live forevermore, because of Christmas Day!!"
Out of the mouth of babes such rich truth :).... these are the words to the song Mercy sang to us early Christmas morning as we all attempted to get a few more minutes rest on our bed before venturing downstairs! The past few days have been a whirlwind of activity in the B household!!

Saturday, we hosted our annual polyanna festivities with the Hayes side of the family.It was a fun (and loud!) time as 12 adults and 17 kids (under the age of 13!) crowded into our house. There was even a long distance call made to my sister in law and her family who are missionaries in the Honduras and were obviously unable to join the celebration this year!! Mercy and Odesco were blessed to meet many of their cousins,aunts and uncles. It took a loooong time for our little man to warm up to all of his relatives but by the end of the nite' he seemed pretty comfortable! Mercy didn't waste any time introducing herself... before I was even out the door to greet she was running down the driveway shouting, "Merry Christmas!!" and usually had a free ride back up the driveway to the front door in the arms of one of her aunts or uncles. During the adult polyanna, one of my brother-in-laws received a rubber chicken(long story!!)...Mercy enjoyed playing with this and when asked if she knew how to cook a chicken, she graphically made the motion of chopping it's head off, plucking it's feathers, removing the feet etc...Don't know if she was just reenacting what she had seen done or if she actually participated in preparing a chicken while in Liberia....it is so interesting and fun to recover some of Mercy's past through her answers to pointed questions . Of course, I'll never know for sure how accurate this information she shares is but I do plan to write it down for her, just in case this is something she would want at some later date.

Christmas Eve morning we attended our special church service where the children (including B3 and B4) sang with their classes and the choir performed. Then both Mercy and Odesco went to their classes. Odesco made huge progress in his behavior/attitude according to Daddy (who stayed with him). He was playing with the others, smiling and actually participating in the activites as opposed to stoically sitting on Daddy's lap and refusing to make eye contact with anyone in his midst. Mercy also participated in her class with me as her chaperone for now! I was asked to formally introduce her to the class and to share her adoption story ...she seemed to enjoy the attention and I was able to affirm in front of her class just how grateful we are that the Lord chose her and Odesco from the foundations of the earth to become a part of our family. After church we extended a spur of the moment invitation to the K. family who adopted Jenkins (travelled home with Mercy and Odesco ) and also Felicia who arrived home last Monday. We threw together leftovers,baked some frozen pizzas, made a quick pot of rice ,and were set to feed all 15 of us!! The best part was that Mercy , Odesco, and Jenkins really connected for the first time since coming home...what a joy to see Odesco and Jenkins playing together and totally enjoying each other's company. It made us think that they must have been little buddies back at AOH... Mercy gravitated to to Felicia and enjoyed slinging her on one hip as she was accustomed to doing back at the orphanage while she assisted the nannies with the little ones. Our hearts were surely full as we saw such a dramatic change in all of them since our first attempt at a get together 3 weeks prior!!
At about 8:30 pm we headed across the street to our neighbors who have hosted a Christmas Eve gathering for the past several years. It was a great opportunity to introduce many of our neighbors also attending, to our newest family members. Mercy did not hold back and thoroughly enjoyed many of the delectables prepared. I think our host especially enjoyed watching Mercy eat 'shausa' (actually pigs in a blanket).... After eating one, she decided she did not prefer the bread but went for the meat instead! It was hysterical to watch as she carefully removed the roll, dutifully carried it to the trash can, tossed it in and then proceeded to consume the mini hotdog before starting all over again. B4 in sharp contrast would quietly come upstairs from the playroom and make his way to the treat table where he would grab a handful of peanut M&M's....Mercy tried these and promptly spit them out into a napkin....seems like our little Liberians have not yet acquired a liking for the fine taste of chocolate ~ such a contrast from their American siblings. And their American counterparts (especially our tiny B4), have not yet learned to appreciate MEAT! Odesco spent the first hour or so plastered to Daddy's lap and tasting the many different treats prepared...he also enjoyed the "shausa' (but he ate the roll!) Finally, he ventured downstairs with his big brothers and played in the playroom with the rest of the gang.

Christmas day we stayed home and enjoyed a brief visit from the D. family who 'delivered' "Miss BAA", our dear friend who has become an extended member of our family and joins us for most hoilday celebrations...we love having her with us! Mimi and PopPop and my oldest brother and his twin teenage daughters also spent the day with us. It was a laid back day(as laid back as it can be with 6 kiddos on Christmas day!!) and Mercy and Odesco enjoyed visiting with more of their family! Mercy especially delighted in saying ,"Hallo, merry Christma!! to the girls' various friends who called their cell phones while they were here~

On Tuesday, our special friends, the C's came for a visit from Maryland bringing with them their 7 children :) Spending time with this family is always a highlight for us and B1-B4 interact so well with their kiddos (3 of their children{siblings from Panama} were added through the miracle of adoption just 17 months ago!) Mercy and Odesco warmed up to everyone and enjoyed the visit as well. So now when we get together, there are 13 kids between our 2 families!! It was great to have a heart to heart talk with the F &J (the parents of this crew!), our former best man and matron of honor in our wedding 17 years ago. They have a wealth of wisdom to offer since they too have experienced first hand the highs and lows of international adoption:) Last nite' we had Kentucky Fried chicken for dinner...Mercy was not too thrilled with the seasoned topping and picked it all off...it took a bit of explaining to convince her that there really was chicken under that coating! Our visitors were amazed at Odesco and Mercy's ability to devour chicken...including bones! Late this morning , the C's left but not before J had a chance to help take out all of Mercy's braids in preparation for an early afternoon visit with Hope. This was a huge means of grace to me as I was in bear hug mode with our little guy for a while this morning and would not have been able to 'unplait' Mercy's head in time!! Mercy was not too happy about sitting still during her plaiting session with Hope but I think we are good to go for another week or so! Her newest "do" looks beautiful :) Thanks again, Hope!!! It is such a relief to not have to be concerned with this in the midst of the many other issues we deal with on a daily basis !!

We continue to have '"issues" regarding clothing with the girlies, especially our newest blessing.This morning, I made the executive decision to remove a significant amount of clothing from their closet. Being from a 3rd world country does not exempt one from covetousness, jealousy, or discontent. I am realizing that ingratitude is a universal problem even if you previously had very little. The issues I see in these little ones are no different than the issues I have dealt with over the years in my own heart and the hearts of the other 4 kiddos. It just goes to show that our hearts are far from being inherently good ...this further demonstrates why we need a Savior!
Now that I've had a moment to catch my breath, I am so grateful for the many evidences of grace displayed to our family over the course of these last few days. We are so rich with family and friends...and my heart is full!!
Signing off to go pick up our messy house and prepare the next meal :)
Thanks for checking in!
Mama B

Saturday, December 23, 2006

O Come Let Us Adore Him...

The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity~ Hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory-because at the the Father's will Jesus Christ became poor, and was born in a stable so that thirty years later He might hang on a cross. It is the most wonderful message that the world has ever heard, or will hear.
( From Knowing God byJ.I. Packer)

Our prayer is that those reading this page would know THE Hope spoken of above . May we never become casual about the true meaning of the incarnation...God became man for the sole purpose of one day paying our debt. Hallelujah~ What a Saviour!!

Merry Christmas!!
With Love from All 8 of Us :)




pictures!

Above: Girlies in matching dresses-again!!
Above: Our handsome little African!
Dresses from Nana...so glad we were finally able to cut the tags off and put these dresses to use-even if it is December :)!!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Confessions of an adoptive Mom...

Well, it should come as no surprise that God is once again using the crucible of our home to reveal the ugliness of my heart and why I need a Savior! Through some recent conversations and an event I was privileged to attend (with the whole gang!!), my heart issues of discontentment were exposed. I can find myself desiring glory for doing great things outside of the context of our home(ie: ministering to other ladies, teaching classes to the homeschool gang etc). I am challenged to look at my heart motives: my chief goal needs to be bringing glory to God and living for the audience of One, not the praise of men. In these moments God reminds me of the verses in Psalm 16:5,6
The Lord is my chosen portion and cup;you hold my lot.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places...

God's word is sharp and cuts to the quick! This verse has instructed my heart during a season of barreness when I had an intense desire to be a stay at home Mommy...and now it convicts me as I am in the opposite season with a houseful of blessings. There are times when I struggle with the boundary lines the Lord has drawn for me. For this season, my boundary lines fall within the context of our home and not much beyond!

My heart at its core is selfish and self serving...I crave order, peace and comfort and all 3 of these desires have been a bit elusive in recent days:) I find myself most tempted during mealtime when there is a clamor of ,'Mommy-o, please may I have 2 boi chickie eggs? I want doup and ri...please fii u ma wate...and I wan plenty of ic... I wan chickie bo(translation... Please may I have 2 boiled eggs,I want soup and rice... (ie: not dry rice!) and water with ice...lots of it--I want chicken with a bone!!!) In the midst of it there are 4 other voices vying for Mommy's attention. While I am instructing all our kiddos to ask appropriately without demanding and encouraging those who are able to assist to do so , God is most concerned with the state of my heart...am I "put out" or poised to serve? Frequently, my heart drifts into the former state. It is a daily (alright, sometimes a minute by minute) challenge to make choices to joyfully serve those in my midst when everything in me wants to scream above the roaring din ,"No-no more chickie eggs...the kitchen is closed and Mommy will let you know when I decide it reopens...oh, and while I'm taking a break ...make sure there are no squabbles, messes made or interupptions !!" I sure need His supernatural grace to model Christ's sacrifice as I serve within the boundary lines of our home ... in my head, I know His grace is always abundant and sufficient, but in my heart, I often don't live this way.

I read a great quote this morning (before the 4 youngest troops awakened for the day's adventures). It is from John Piper's "A Godward Life"(pg67)

Jesus said that if you receive a child in His name, you receive Him and the one who sent him.
The question is not whether caring for children is easy and safe, or whether they are responsive and thankful, or whether caring is depleting. The question is whether Jesus is the same yesterday , today, and forever, and whether we can say with the apostle Paul, " I can do all things through Him who strengthens me". (Philippians 4:13)

So, there you have it...I am not supermom...there are times when I am not thrilled with the job description and yet, I can confidently declare that I can do this with the strength that God provides. Truly ,there is no place on earth that I'd rather be...I just needed to be reminded of that today~

Now that I totally bared my soul, I guess you are all interested in the latest with our 2 little Liberians and our transition as a family. Each day seems to be getting a bit more sane as we are learning the ins and outs of Mercy and Odesco's personalities. Thankfully, I feel like I have finally connected with our littlest man...I can see a meltdown brewing and now I just scoop (more like hoist...this boy is solid!!) him into my arms and he puts his head on my shoulder and allows me to comfort him. Ocassionally, this plan doesn't work but i am beginning to read him ! M usually bathes the little boys while I tend to the girlies but last nite' he did not get home until after bathtimes. Odesco was such a hoot ... playfully squirting me with water toys, dumping huge buckets of water on his head and dancing around in the tub with his huge tummy bouncing up and down. While dressing, we do lots of tickle songs/games which he anticipates and seems to really enjoy now. Tonight, he was so boisterous and just hysterical to see in action...his personality seems to really be emerging...I have a feeling it's about to get a bit noisier around here!! (is that even possible??)

Mercy also is becoming very comfortable in her new home. We are still in instruction mode with many basic issues (like playing kindly with siblings, not taunting/teasing etc) but I do think she is beginning to understand a bit more that rules are for her good , because we love her and want her to grow up loving God more than herself. She loves singing bible songs at the top of her lungs so we are now learning what an "inside voice " is supposed to sound like!

On Monday, Mimi and Pop Pop came for their first visit since the day the kids arrived home...(they were on a cruise !!). Both kids went running out to the car hollering their names and acting as if they'd known them forever. Odesco played football with the big boys and PopPop while Mimi painted the girls' fingernails, read stories and had tea with them. When it came time for them to go home,our 2 little Liberians were trying their hardest to impede the process!!

Today we had the privilege of hosting the T. family for lunch. They are friends of friends (clear as mud?) from church who are also adopting through AOH (and just received their referral of 2 children before Thanksgiving.) Our kids (their 3 older kiddos and our 6- their 3 month old didn't join in the fun this time!) played well together and it was great to be able to share some of the challenges and highlights we have experienced in these early days of adjusting. We also quizzed Odesco and Mercy to see if they had met and knew the 2 children this family is adopting..we're still not sure about that(since their 2 children arrived only a few weeks prior to Mercy and Odesco's departure home) but Mercy did give her opinion about how their names were to be pronounced! The hope is that these children will be home in the early spring of 2007.Although this family lives down South, they have relatives in the area and we are excited that our Liberian children will have connections in the days ahead!

We are hosting our polyanna party for one side of the family tomorrow and it will be the first time Mercy and Odesco meet a portion of their many cousins,aunts and uncles.Mercy is very excited about this~ especially since she heard that Mimi and Pop Pop would be coming....The past few days, we have been delivering cards and small gifts to neighbors and friends....M has also taken all of the kids out individually (to the $ store :) to purchase gifts for the other siblings (and me!). While I don't enjoy making room for more "stuff" it was a purposeful decision made to take the focus off of getting and to encourage a giving heart ...especially in our newest family members who could easily be overtaken my an "entitlement mentality". We have kept our Christmas decorations very simple this year and the tree is bare except for lights and a few ornaments we made. We also have the Liberian nativity set up and a few other play nativities as well. We are reading "Tabitha's Travels" this year...an advent devotional and using our Noelle advent calendar. Mercy especially shows great interest in reading bible stories and loves watching a short video we have called the "Birth of Christ".

Tonight as we attended our church choir concert, my heart overflowed to heart my sweet daughters on either side of me belting out "O come let us adore Him"...
My cup overfloweth!!!

Choosing today to rejoice over the boundary lines He has chosen for me (but feel free to remind me when I need it!)
Mama B

PS: Some B's Bits...

*Odesco now loves Liquid Bragg's Amino Acids (sort of like healthy soy sauce) and requests it with his rice...he calls it "doop"(soup)...in Liberia, from what I understand, any liquid poured over rice is considered soup

* Ice cubes are now a popular commodity like Chicky bones and several times throughout the day Mercy and Odesco ask me to replensih their water bottles ...with "plenty" of ice- According to Mercy "Plenty " is when we shove so many ice cubes in the water bottle that the displaced water spills all over the counter and floor!!

*Mercy and B3 have been wearing dresses daily (usually spring/summer outfits) So, I have decided not to make an issue out of dressing seasonally -yet....now if Mercy attempts to pull out the bathing suits, then we've got problems!!!

*Mercy and B3 are now sleeping in their own room and just tonight, they moved from the floor to the bottom bunk...slow and steady change seems to be the way to go with our sweet Mercy!

*We have devoured almost 5# of brown rice since Tuesday of this week!

*"Lau -oo-dah" means what is that/who is that in Liberian english....

* Mercy loves looking at all our family pictures and asking the above phrase over and over as she puts names together with faces. Then we look at the last professional photo we had taken of B1-B4 and I ask her who is missing from that picture.... she gleefully answers, "Mercy and Odesco!!!" I'm hoping this means she will be cooperative when I finally gather the courage to attempt a professional photo with all 6!

Monday, December 18, 2006

Good and Perfect Gifts...Part 2

Above: The Plaiting Princess is at work again...thanks Mrs. L. for being such a good sport!
Above: Our 2 Princesses showing off their manicures at their friend's Princess party~
Above: Odesco and B4 in their matching PJ's...they took turns wearing the mask and 'scaring' each other...what a hoot to watch these 2 in action!!

Well, this technno challenged Mom is having trouble finishing my prior post....so, to save time, I'm just starting a new one! It is a continuation of the previous post, so you may want to start there :)

*Gift #3 arrived in the form of a phone call from the primary person we had contact with at AOH. To my surprise, she was not calling on 'business' but as a fellow adoptive mom (she has 5 adopted from Liberia and 5 biological!!). What a blessing to hear that she is familiar with all we are experiencing . That call was like a cold refreshing drink of life sustaining water to this thirsty mommy!

*Gift #4 : As a family we were able to join our caregroup for our annual Christmas party. M and I went with low expectations and did not anticipate being able to stay the entire nite'. What a pleasant surprise it was to see Odesco and Mercy playing with the other kids, joining in the 'skit in a bag' activity and basically doing quite well in spite of being in unfamiliar territory with unfamiliar people. Being with our friends is always a treat...even more so when we have been a bit out of fellowship during this time of settling in.

So there you have it ~a highlight of a few (there are many more, I'm sure!!) good gifts bestowed upon our family by the Father of lights. God Himself has touched our lives through the kindness of others and my heart overflows with gratitude.
Grateful for His lovingkindess!!
Mama B~

One more picture:)
Here the girlies are wearing the matching outfits given by my Nana the month before she passed away~They probably won't fit next year so if you see my girls in summer clothes in the middle of winter, you'll understand why!























Good and perfect gifts...

Every good and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights...James 1:17

In this season of gift giving, it seems fitting to recognize the many gifts the Lord has showered upon our lives in recent days. These are such tangible evidences of His intimate knowledge of the details of our lives...these are gifts He has chosen to bless us with through the kindness and love of others.


Gift #1 : Saturday morning as I was flipping pancakes, the kids yelled, "Happy anniversary!" That's when my hubby and I sheepishly looked at each other...oops! It wasn't that we had forgotten our anniversary altogether~ it was just that when a thought came to plan something feasible and special (even as simple as buying a card!), it quickly flitted away as a more immediate need required our attention such as breaking up a squabble, wiping a nose or bottom, or probably preparing more food!! Typically, we celebrate our anniversary with an overnite' away (thanks to Mimi and PopPop), or at least a nice dinner out (thanks to our faithful friends), but I guess we are just a bit preoccupied right now :)

It is hard to believe 17 years have sped by! I am so grateful I listened to my Mom's wise counsel( although unappreciated at the time). Years ago she advised me not to "settle for crumbs on the way to the banquet". She was referring to settling for less than God's best in a husband. Truly, in His perfect time, He brought His good gift to me in my dear hubby~ I'm so thankful that the Lord has me walking this path with the man of His choosing!

Anyhow, back to Saturday...God used special friends from church to bless our family. These friends are well acquainted with the disorienting and intense transition after bringing home new little ones through the miracle of adoption and suspecting that we probably had not planned anything, this couple tracked our anniversary on the calendar and contacted M during the day with a plan to make our celebration quite memorable :) At dinner time, an unexpected van pulled into our driveway and a family of 5 quietly walked into our house laden with a mysterious box and several bags...expertly they redressed the kitchen table with Christmas tablecloth and coordinating napkins and plates...then they filled it with a delectable feast of take out Chinese food and scrumptious cheesecake for dessert...they thought of everything...even movies for after dinner entertainment. They declined our invitation to join us, took a picture at my request, and after hugs, exited as quietly as they came. I stood there overwhelmed by the love of our friends and this very real expression of God's care for us through them during this season of our lives. What a wonderful family memory!!! For you astute viewers who are counting heads, one little B(Odesco), was sound asleep during the preparations but woke up just in time to eat!

Gift #2: Hope has come...quite literally!! A lovely homeschool mom named Hope came to the rescue and plaited Mercy's hair for me on Saturday. Let me back up so you can fully appreciate the significance of God's provision in this. After my escapade to get the book last week, I quickly realized pictures on a page were not going to be enough to teach this clueless mom. I called my other contacts and nothing materialized so feeling rather desparate, I resorted to the phone book and began looking for local salons that specialized in ethnic hair and accepted children as clients. To my surprise, I was able to find only 1 establishment. I scheduled an appointment for Mercy on Saturday morning but it quickly became apparent that she was not quite ready for this experience which might last a couple of hours. In the meantime, I received a call from a very excited friend who was so happy to tell me she had found a resource for me with regards to Mercy's hair. This friend had been at a homeschool event and shared with Hope my hair woes. Hope willingly offered to help...not only was she willing to help, she was eager and filled with joy to be able to serve in this way. So, I cancelled the $50 braiding session and Saturday afternoon Hope arrived with her 2 delightful children to spend several hours with us. Hope came bearing a huge bag of clips, rubberbands,combs, brushes,conditioner, "grease" , headbands etc...ALL which she graciously gifted to us!! She patiently explained what to use when and then proceeded to braid Mercy's hair into a beautiful new style.

We had fun as she brushed it and showed us a 'natural look' for the days we can't braid it...and I watched in awe as her nimble fingers worked magic. Hope assures me that with practice, I will one day be able to do Mercy's hair...quite a hope-filled declaration :) In the meantime, my new friend has offered to bail me out as needed. I think our families will become good friends in the days ahead. Hope, if you are reading this, your visit and joyful desire to help is another evidence that God is about the work of equipping me to do what He has called me to do!! Thank you, Thank you!!! Below are a few pictures of our time together :)

Getting Started!!!! Even B3 is getting some special attention from Hope's daughter :)

Our "Goofy Girl" in her natural style!!

Ta-dah....the finished product!!!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hopeful Happenings...

Daddy teaching the finer points of flossing!!
Ta-Dah!! Our 2 princesses showing off the fruit of their labors! Mercy is wearing her newly purchased dress :)

"sistahs".... Bonding while braiding!!!


I am happy to report that today was well, sort of normal!! God graciously gave me another glimpse of what life might consistently be like in a little while. Thankfully, there were no major meltdowns or tantrums today. ( There were a few brewing but God's grace prevailed and Mercy and Odesco were able to regroup and move on!!) We even managed to get a bit of schoolwork done...not back to a full load but getting there.(We started back on Monday.)

The girls spent some time this morning flinging clothes out of their dress up bin in attempts to find Mercy suitable attire to attend a "Princess Birthday Party" tomorrow nite'. Finally, Mercy squeezed into a little Ballerina outfit and B3 was happy to be wearing the Princess gown which was homemade by Mimi for her 5th birthday. After posing for a few pictures, I instructed the girls to get changed because we needed to make an "Aldis run". Mercy decided she wanted to be a Princess for the day and since the temperature was mild, I let her wear her ballerina get-up (complete with tiara), to the store. B3, Odesco and Mercy sat in the cart. They all loved having the various items piled on top of them....and they were all very helpful when it came time to empty the cart onto the conveyor belt. Once home both Mercy and Odesco ran to the back of the van to help carry the groceries in the house. I had forgotten bags, so everything was loose. Both kids wanted to be loaded up with groceries before walking up the driveway into the house. Mercy had me in hysterics because as she'd take a step, she would drop something...then she's bend over to pick that item up only to lose another(these were all non-perishables, thankfully!!). Odesco was just as cute balancing 3 grapefruits and a few cans of cashews as he lumbered up the walkway in his very snug Eagles sweatsuit.

Later, after lunch I had a phone conversation with M and we decided to purchase a special Princess dress for Mercy that actually fit her! Even though she and B3 technically wear the same size, Mercy's bloated tummy (which should diminish over time now that she is receiving adequate nourishment) made the dress a bit too snug on her. I pulled B3 aside to tell her the plan and to ask her to prepare her heart to be happy for her sister...thankfully, she was very excited about this and couldn't wait to tell Mercy that we were going to Target for the sole purpose of buying her a dress of her very own. Mercy lit up with the news and we were able to pile into the van again, drive to Target, choose a dress, pay for it and return home within the hour. SO, we actually survived 2 outings in one day :)

Odesco was a tired boy at this point and on his own found a spot on a blanket on the family room floor and had a short snooze. B3 asked if Mercy could go up to their room with her since it was clear that Mercy was not tired enough to nap. While I was at the kitchen table reconciling bills , I could hear 2 very busy, giddy little girls upstairs. A few minutes later, they excitedly scampered down the stairs and begged me to come with them for a surprise. After hurrying up ahead of me for some finishing touches, they opened the door to their room and proudly displayed the fruit of their labors....a totally picked up, organized room! It was a sweet moment as these 2 little girls learned to work together . Mercy kept talking about being "sistahs".

After baths, the girlies decided that Mercy would plait B3's hair. They took a break for some icecream which Mercy and Odesco said they have had before in Liberia (don't know how with no electricity /refrigeration?). Both of them did not eat the chocolate chips in their cup of mint chocolate chip icecream. Mercy piled hers on a napkin and I accidently discovered a pile on the floor next to Odesco after I heard him spitting something out!! B4 who is a chocoholic like his Mommy wanted to know if he could eat them...now that's a serious addiction!! (Don't worry, I said no :)

Odesco was in a very playful mood at bedtime and climbed into his bottom bunk (after a crash course in the details of dental flossing from Daddy) without any trouble.
It was a great day...lots of laughter, fun, and good things happening in the sibling department!

A few bits from the B's:
* Mercy and Odesco now love to call Daddy at work on the phone...Mercy gets a kick out of telling Daddy she loves him and thinks it's funny that Daddy asks her if she is obeying Mommy...when she responds affirmatively, Daddy tells her he is so proud. She repeats this conversation several times until M returns home from work:) Odesco also has a similar conversation. Also, any time a friend calls these 2 are right there asking if they can say,"Hallo!"
*After polishing off their cups of icecream, both Mercy and Odesco requested a boiled egg and devoured that as well!
*We are expanding the palate of our little Liberians...today they ate cucumbers, (Mercy ate hers with hot pepper sprinkled on them!)~ breaded fish, & grape tomatoes
*Mercy and Odesco like to bathe almost as much as they like to eat.
*Our 2 Little Liberians love to watch "Boo-Boo" aka Curious George....maybe because he is from Africa and comes to live in America??
*Mercy was able to talk to her little friend "Gifty" yesterday on the phone...it is Gifty's biological grandmom who taught Mercy and Odesco Bible verses, songs, nursery rhymes etc. While it was hard to tell if Gifty remembered Mercy (she has been home since 8/06), Mercy was thrilled!!

That's all the news for now!

Praising Him for the great things He has done and will continue to do!!
Thanks for checking in ~MamaB

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Hidden Treasures

Tickle/wrestle time with Daddy and the 4 littles
Undoing the 'do' with a little help from B3
The first finished hairstyle (combined effort of Mercy and Mommy)


I am amazed how God orchestrates even the simplest of things such as receiving an article in the mail on just the right day to encourage my soul. He who cares about the sparrow and knows every hair on my head, lovingly directs all things for my good and His glory!
Yesterday afternoon, after a very challenging morning, I received the magazine "Shaohannah's Hope Today" which contains many articles regarding reaching out to the orphans of the world....this same organization blessed us with a generous gift toward the adoption of Mercy and Odesco. One article in particular caught my eye...it highlighted the following verse:

I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness-secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord , the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name" Isaiah 45:3

Mercy and Odesco are indeed His treasures who were hidden in the darkness of a war torn nation. How humbling to think that the Lord has chosen these 2 hidden treasures to bless our family in ways we've yet to experience and in ways we have already enjoyed! I needed to be reminded of this today and I was thanking God again for the vision of "normalcy" he gifted us with on Sunday! That keeps me grounded when we seem to take a few steps backwards!
After the bedtime fiasco on Monday night, Odesco was still not quite back to his cheerful self. Before Mark left for work, he was once again in tantrum mode and this went on from 7:30- 10:15 am. There were fleeting moments of 'connecting' with my little boy only to be followed by periods of total reckless anger...so, much of the morning was spent running interference between our little boy and the various household items that were kickable or throwable...we did spend a bit of time in bear hug mode in the glider as well. Finally, he settled and began playing with the others... surprisingly,by noon, we were able to venture out for our first grocery store run with all 6 kiddos on my own. I purposefully only had a few items to purchase...needed to restock on "chicky eggs" as these are a new favorite...thankfully, everyone did quite well. Odesco especially enjoyed "driving" the car shopping cart and Mercy was content to sit in the basket for the ride. You should have heard them shouting, "Mommy buy dis...bre..I wan bre" ...The bakery was chock full of fresh bread and our little Liberians were pretty excited to be surrounded by such delectable delights. Funny enough, the free cookie given at the bakery was not the treat it is to the other 4....Mercy even offered hers to one of the other kids! I didn't dare to venture near the deli as one piece of sample meat would not have satisfied these two!

Naptime/quiet time has been unsuccessful the past few days...Odesco and Mercy seem to be in giddy mode and can't help but talk to each other...I bed them down on blankets in the family room near the warm wood stove hoping it will lull them off to sleep...instead, I 'm the one drifting off to la-la land while these two are in hysterics...I have not tried to bring them upstairs to separate rooms yet(trying not to associate rest time with the occasional trauma of the nighttime routine) but, that day might be coming :) Even though they are giggling and entertaining one another, they are resting somewhat and beginning to learn the discipline of not running around all day long...it's a challenge to keep the other 4 out of the mix to calm things down a bit...

Before baths as some of us were folding a massive pile of laundry in the living room, I learned that Mercy is an expert folder since this was one of her jobs at the orphanage . In the midst of the noise of our busy home I could hear something else- which sounded like children... befuddled, I counted heads and realized all the kiddos were with me. Finally B4 realized there were carolers on our front porch! We were blessed by a surprise visit from 3 little girls accompanied by their very creative Mom singing at our door...they came bearing gifts like the 3 kings from afar...Rice Krispies& Cocoa Krispies because when you mix the 2 of these together, you get our family :) oh, and a box of clementines ...just because there were 3 kings and a 3rd gift was needed :)!! Thanks for the visit Catherine and girlies!! oh and interestingly enough, our little Liberians prefer the plain (white!)rice krispies and B1-B4 like the cocoa( brown) Krispies best!

Bedtime and bathtime were uneventful (Thankyou, Lord!!) and the girls loved wearing their matching princess PJ's we had purchased for Christmas and decided to give them early to alleviate some of the issues surrounding sharing clothes....

After they were all tucked in, I headed out to a B&N not local to us to pick up a "How-To" hair book for Mercy's hair. I was totally lost but it gave me a chance to pray and clear my muddled mind as I finally made it to my destination. If any of you reading this blog are experienced in styling ethnic hair, and you live locally, I would love a hands-on lesson in plaiting, zulu knots and basic hair care. Mercy's hair is much shorter than most of the pictures in the books so for this inexperienced Mommy, it is a challenge to do. I look forward to becoming equipped in this area and hope I will not have to resort to regularly visiting a salon and adding haircare to the monthly budget!!

Finally, some bits form the B's....
* Mercy can guzzle a huge glass of water in one gulp!
*The word for flatulence is the same in Liberian and English and emits the same response in children of both cultures!
*Chicken without the presence of "boon" (bone) has quickly become worthless in the eyes of our Liberian children.
* The blowdryer is a form of entertainment for our newest family members
* We used up an entire tube of lotion (or 'grease' as Mercy calls it!) in just one week of trying to restore moisture to our kiddos parched skin
* Mercy and Odesco love looking at AOH pictures and naming all their friends...today I received the phone # of one of them, a special friend of Mercy's (who is now adopted and living with her family in the Midwest) and I will call her mom later to see if we can have the girls correspond.
*Mercy has colored some pictures for me to send to one of the AOH nannies who is very special to her. This is the same woman who has taught Mercy and Odesco Bible songs, verses, and nursery rhymes
*A small breakthrough with Odesco...he willingly played the "obedience game" with me yesterday. I told him to run away and when I called him he was to respond,"Yes, Mommy" and come immediately...he did this a few times with a cheerful heart...hasn't put it into practice yet, but it's a start! :)
*I have heard Odesco call us Mommy and Daddy a few times in the past few days spontaneously :)
*The rice cooker, dishwasher, washer and dryer have never worked so hard!
*A king size bed does not hold 2 adults and 6 children as comfortably as we had imagined :)( Don't worry, we don't try to sleep this way...just cuddle early in the morning)
*Light switches including those in the refrigerator, van and oven continue to be a fascination(and temptation!) to Mercy and Odesco....doorknobs especially those leading to the great outdoors are equally tempting!
* I have resorted to locking the dead bolt on the front door from the inside for the first time since we have lived here for the reason mentioned above
*baby powder and beautifully "greased" brown skin make for an interesting combination!!
*Odesco has real rhythm...he can pat a distinct drum beat on any solid surface..we will have to try to get a set of African drums for this little man!!

Thanks for checking in and for your continued prayers...we are so very grateful for the many evidences of grace we see throughout these days of adjusting...and we are so thankful for His sustaining grace as we wait on Him to bring about heart change in ALL of us!! (Especially in Mommy!!!)

Clinging to Him,
Mama B


Monday, December 11, 2006

Sibling Squabbles...

Well, it has officially begun...the sibling squabbles. I guess we are adjusting more than I realized if this is happening already!! Much of the day was spent with the littles helping them to reconcile issues brought about most often by having to share "stuff" and occasionally due to teasing and unkindess. I totally expected this to be an issue as both sets of kiddos are very close in age...so, for that reason, I think it is even more of a challenge for them to work through this in their hearts. It's easier to dismiss a sibling's offense if they are much smaller and they "Don't know better" but when they are a peer, it's a whole different dynamic~ But, even as draining as it can be to mediate all day long, I do believe that God will use this for His glory and for the good of Mercy and Odesco, the other 4 and especially Mommy and Daddy as we see our need for God's help to do this His way!!!

B3 and B4 are definately feeling the strain of having to love our newest family members when they don't feel like it and things are being exposed in their little hearts that were there all along...the situation has just brought these tendencies to the forefront and into the light.As we were awaiting the arrival of our precious blessings, I had such peace about God choosing these particular children for us...their ages (even though they are most likely older than anticipated), their sin issues, their wonderful positive traits are all for the good of our entire family.

Sweet Mercy decided to undo her hairdo today when she was in one of her" funks"( upset about not getting what she wanted.)..boy talk about a kick in the gut...especially since I am so clueless with this hair thing! By God's grace I was able to calmly watch her wreck an hour's worth of work in less than 5 minutes :) But, one thing about having to do her hair so regularly is it is great to promote bonding...very time consuming and touchy feely as I rub "grease/conditioner" into her hair and then attempt to braid or twist it! I did order a book today to help me with hairstyles...hope it helps! After her mood had lightened and we rebraided her hair, we spoke about never doing that again in a fit of anger...she did reply,"Yes, Mommy"...I sure hope she means it :)!! But, if not, I'll be getting lots of practice perfecting her hairdos!

Bedtime was once again met by 2 sullen Liberians followed by full fledged tantrums....it is difficult to discern what is part of the grieving process and what is willful defiance. This morning Mercy told me she was mad about not wearing the PJ's she desired because it was B3's turn to don them. So, please pray for wisdom for us as we desire to comfort a grieving heart but redirect& instruct a defiant / disobedient one.
Thanks for checking in...
Blessings,MamaB
Oh ,one fun tidbit:
*" Mommy, ma gu i foo" means Mommy, my gut is full! Mercy is starting to sense when her tummy has had enough....I was wondering if this would ever happen :)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Fantastic Day of Firsts!!!

Unbridled joy on the swirly slide!!
So glad we didn't give away our double stroller!!

Well, today was a day of firsts for our family. Most significantly, it was the first day since our precious gifts have arrived that we have not experienced a major tantrum, meltdown , or defiant stand-off!! Also, it was the first morning since they have arrived that we have not been greeted by 2 children in sullen , distant moods. Both of them actually woke up happy, talking and so very pleasant :) Both of them actually called out, "Is it da-bre (daybreak)?!"

Today was our first time to our favorite church in the world on our favorite day of the week with our entire family!! Overall, Mercy and Odesco did surprisingly well...there were a few minor incidents but when we consider the number of people they met , the length of the morning & the introduction to Children's Ministry classes, I'd say they were real troupers!

Today was Mercy and Odesco's first trip out in our neighborhood to the local park. The big boys were kindly invited to a friend's house for the afternoon...I think it was a great break for them from the intense but controlled chaos (HA!) of this past week. So, hubby and I took the 4 littles on a looong walk to the park. Odesco and B4 rode in the double stroller and Mercy and B3 held my hand as we ventured out. They had a ball on the twisty and roller slides...they loved the big swings and all4 kids had a great time interacting together.

Today was the first time I actually washed Mercy's hair without her beautiful braided hairstyle. It was really in need of being redone and prior to bathing, she diligently pulled out every braid(with minor help from this clueless Mom)...it took over an hour to get all of the braids undone...these things were in so tight and so intricately woven...I am amazed at the skill of the nannies in this area!! Mercy used a rat tail comb to expertly lossen the tight braids...now I understand why she was a bit rough while braiding the hair of her "Faith Dollbaby". You should have seen her pull , tug and rip to get her previous style undone! Thankfully, I had been in touch with a hairstylist who specializes in ethnic hair and she recommended several products which I purchased 2 days before Mercy and Odesco flew home. I had to read my cheat sheet from her to remember which products to use when. After baths,we came downstairs to style her hair...inside, I was in a total panic--I had absolutely no idea what to do! I have been perusing the adoption haircare website' on and off for months, have corresponded with other adoptive moms about this subject but I just couldn't visualize how to do this without Mercy being here. With her hair unbraided , it is in a short afro.I didn't need to worry though since she was totally undaunted, sat on the floor crosslegged, used the "grease" to moisturize her hair and went to town putting small sections of her hair in a rubber band and then plaiting it...the finishing touches were the hair snaps I had purchased online that keep the braids from unwinding. I "helped" her a little bit as we muddled through...I think she did great job but I do have a few calls out to people who might be able to help us out a bit with a more defined style. i look forward to getting more creative.

Odesco was so communicative and playful today...he loves to wrestle and he plays this game with Daddy where he approaches him...comes in for a tickle and rustling and then says," I beg you" (the Liberian version of crying "Uncle") ....then he runs away giggling yelling " I NO Beg You"..in other words, come and get me!! His laugh and smile are so contagious especially because our hearts were so sad to see him so sad and angry...his smiles make our hearts hopeful that this little boy will one day receive all the love that the Father has for him through the vehicle of a loving family :)

Tonight was the first nite' our new additions BOTH went to bed without a struggle of some sort....now one of our other children had some issues to work through but we are accostumed to dealing with those :)
So there you have it...we are all beginning to settle in... I'm sure it won't be smooth sailing from here on out but it was a day of reprieve, a day of fun, a day of refreshment...a day where the Lord gave us a vision of what things might one day be again...."normal"...which of course will be a totally new normal for our family.
oh, and we've added a new staple to the Liberian diet...boiled eggs (I poach them and this seems to satisfy)

Thanks for checking in and thanks so much to so many of you who have asked how you can specifically pray for us. We feel your love and prayers...thank you to our SGC family. Your love for our children and your desire to weave them into the fabric of our church family will bring so much security to these little hearts. How blessed we are to be planted in such fertile, well watered soil. What a wonderful environment for these 2 especially to be nurtured and loved in. I love looking around to see all the little faces who have been brought to our church through the miracle of adoption. Truly, God has called them out of darkness and brought them into His marvelous light...what a joy it will be to see these little hearts transformed by the power of the
gospel
Signing off with a hope and joy filled heart :)
Love,MamaB
PS Mercy surprised me again today as she was reciting loads of Bible verses....one was Ephesians 6:1 Children Obey Your Parents in the Lord!
and Honor Your Father and your Mother....so, the word has been deposited in her heart and I trust with encouragement and consistency will continue to bring forth much fruit!!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Surprised by God...

Wheelbarrow rides with Daddy!!!!

Special times with Daddy!!
Mercy and the coveted "chicky boon" ( chicken bone)
The intensity of these days of transition and the strength of our little Liberians' spirits has been a bit of a surprise to my hubby and me. God kindly prompted me to get as much done as possible before the arrival of our new blessings and now I understand why!! I know I must have seemed neurotic to those around me as I completed our Christmas shopping, holiday baking, making Christmas ornaments , gift wrapping etc prior to their arrival but, I had this feeling that life was going to get interesting!! Even though I "knew" all of this, my hubby and I still find ourselves surprised by the challenges and adjustments we are experiencing. Today, as I read the kids our advent devotional, I was encouraged by these words ...God's timing sure is perfect because He knew we needed to hear this TODAY~
"Our God is a God of surprises! Just when you think everything is going normally, God steps in and says it's time to shake things up a bit. Maybe it's His way of letting us know He's in control! Or, maybe He wants to see if we really trust Him. Either way, our response must be immediate and obedient. "Yes, Lord" is the way we must answer. "Whatever you say. You are in charge!"(From Tabitha's Travels -page21)

Yes, he is in control and from the foundations of the earth, He chose these 2 precious children to join our family through the miracle of adoption....that truth has not changed. My expectations were off, but His plan is flawless and once again, I am reminded to trust Him to bring about the changes we so long to see in ALL of our children. We need to not grow weary in doing good and in due season, we will reap, if we do not give up . Galatians 6:9
So, today, I am declaring, Yes, Lord....while I am surprised by our situation,You are not...it is all part of Your sovereign plan to bring glory to Your name.

It is hard to believe that it was only 1 week ago today that Odesco and Mercy joined our family! Already, they have changed so much....today we did not have one tantrum until 12:30pm-- that's major progress!! However, when the tantrum hit , it was a doozy. (Think, clear the room and remove all throwable objects!!) I will say though, that our little guy is softening before my eyes. Initially he would not allow me to put lotion on his very dry skin...then, he would just barely tolerate it and today, he was rolling up his pant legs and offering me his limbs to massage and moisturize. Also,he seems to be recovering just a smidge faster from his meltdowns and this evening after another mini one he allowed me to pick him up,he eventually put his head on my shoulder and in time even began playing with my necklace and picking lint off my sweater which is progress because he is acknowledging me :) He has a very playful , fun side that we are just beginning to see emerge...he is still not too verbal..except when it has to do with asking for food or chatting with Mercy in their Liberian dialect but slowly he is coming around.

Mercy had a wonderful day marked by lots singing and attempts at explaining things to me...little by little I am beginning to catch more of what she is communicating. Liberian English is not at all easy to understand! For instance at dinner, I was fixing her bowl after I had given Odesco his...her facial expression told me she was not happy about something... she said" I wan a bee boon"...okay..you want a what?? Finally I got it...she wanted a big bone of chicken meat not the little wing I had given her!!
Today, she entertained us by reciting/singing "Little Jack Horner", "Three Blind Mice" "Now I lay me Down to Sleep",the days of the week and her 2's times table up to 2X12... later after baths, we videotaped all the kids in another giddy moment. Mercy sang some beautiful bible songs she had learned at AOH one of them being "God answers prayer in the morning."...

Earlier in the day,during rest/quiet time she began playing with a toy that makes noise...I asked her to close it up and she said,"Yes, mommy" and put it away!!! Just a few days ago, this simple request would have turned into a major episode!So, she has been flexing her obedience muscles and in many cases is making choices to obey. At bedtime , things went south and I still am uncertain why but I just prayed for both girls and tried to address what I could and then left the room....she gave up the fighta nd went to sleep. I think she is so used to gaining attention for negative behaviors that it is a hard habit to break...
And a HUGE praise...Odesco went to bed without incident...we sensed it brewing earlier as bedtime approached and this is when he let me pick him up and cuddle him. Then, he went to bed without a peep!!! Perhaps, this is the beginning of a new pattern??
I know challenges will face us tomorrow but today, I want to savor all the wonderful evidences of God's grace upon their little lives.

Trusting that His ways are best and His grace is sufficient!!!

Love, Mama B.

PS: Some of you have asked how the other little B's are doing...they are holding up...having some struggles as can be expected but overall being great big brothers/big sister!!

Friday, December 08, 2006

He Gently Leads Those That Are With Young...

Lots of laughs at the dress up bin!!
These are yesterday's happenings...just never had a chance to post it ...
Today, my day officially began at 7am...yes ~Mercy slept right through her 4 am earlybird special ~Thank you Lord for this tender leading in giving me a full night of sleep! This morning we attempted to get a picture of everyone together in their Liberian outfits but it was a bit of a chaotic fiasco with noone wanting to be still long enough to take the picture...we tried to get some shots of the kids in motion chasing each other to no avail ...maybe next time~ at least there were lots of giggles and laughter as streaks of African color flew past the camera! Odesco especially liked his spiffy duds and he looked so adorable in his mostly bright orange outfit! Later the kids discovered the dress-up bin...what a hoot seeing Odesco decked out in a coon skin cap topped with a red hard hat and a denim jacket to finish out the look!...he reminded me of a member of the Village People(remember the song"YMCA"??)He actually wore this light jacket and coon skin cap to his bloodwork appt...decided putting a heavy coat on was not a hill worth dying on even if it was absolutely freezing outside today!
This afternoon, the Lord again showed His tender kindness to this Mommy...After dropping off B4,B3 and B1 at a friend's house, we arrived at CHOP'S Satellite branch for bloodwork only to learn that our appointment was yesterday!! In the fog of transition, I had confused my days and inadvertantly thought the appointment was scheduled today! ...by God's grace, I didn't check the calendar before leaving the house or I would have rescheduled if I'd seen my mistake. Instead, we(Mark was home today specifically for this appt!) unknowingly showed up and after making a few calls, the staff graciously agreed to see us anyhow. It was as traumatic as we anticipated but, the staff were exceptional and were able to get all they needed from Mercy. Unfortunately, poor Odesco was so upset that he blew a vein...she tried again to no avail...she was able to fill a few vials but we will have to repeat in a few weeks to get the rest of the tests done. Both children were understandably inconsolable and angry at us as we made our way back out to the car but then perked up with another edible reward!! We then drove to do a few errands without the other kids. Mercy was explaining something to me as we drove and I was getting it all wrong...she had me in hysterics as she tried and tried again("I saaay...") to get me to understand...Finally it clicked and I realized she was describing the process of making Liberian soup with potato greens, crushed palm nuts and fish...she was absolutely hilarious as she went into great detail and then ended with'"I a it an it wa soo swee" ("I ate it and it was sooo sweet"-as in good!)I thought she was telling me about Peter,her friend at the orphanage who went fishing....too funny!!!
After this amusing dialogue, I ran into BJ's alone while Mark drove around the parking lot...I bought 4 Rotisierrie chickens, a spiral ham and some rolls to keep the "staples" in the house for the next few days. We are still enjoying the many generous meals prepared by friends but I am realizing for a while I need to have these foods on hand at all times! As I was finishing up my shopping list, imagine my surprise when I saw 2 very smiley Liberians enjoying the ride of their lives in the cart being pushed by Daddy and B2! This was their first time ever in a store...they were wide eyed but very self controlled and good natured. At one point they saw this animated monkey head and they both yelled out," There's Boo-Boo"...that is the name of the pet monkey at AOH!! On the way to get the other kids we made a quick stop at the Kachs to say hello to Jenkins...we stayed only a few minutes..the kids seemed shy toward one another and didn't really engage each other...maybe once they are all settled and a bit more secure in our homes, they will actually play together!
We are realizing that life as we knew it prior to our blessings arriving will need to be put on hold. Right now, the focus needs to be assimilating them into our family and painstakingly taking as many opportunities as possible to instruct and guide them as they have had sooo few limits/boundaries set in the past. So, homeschool will look a bit different for a while as will our activites outside the home...

Some fun, encouraging tidbits:
** When I took Mercy to her bloodwork appointment, the nusre noted that she seemed really "connected" with me and was amazed that the kids had only been home for 6 days! This was an encouragement to me. Mercy always lets me know when she needs to use the bathroom and wants me in there with her...she also helps me with some of my chores and seems to thrive on positive attention...she is calling me ,"Mommy" on her own and will often come to me just to be close.or she will ask me to come and sit with her if she is at the table eating (which for now is a good part of the day!) On the way back to pick up the kids when we were eating the concillatory french fries, (I know, not healthy -but desperate times call for desperate measures!)I would take a bite and then offer the rest to Mercy telling her how "God loves a cheerful giver." It became a game and I asked if she would share one of hers with me...that suggestion was met by a hearty, "No" ....a few minutes later though, she surprised me by cheerfully offering me one of her prized fries...small action I know but significant in the heart of our sweet daughter!
** We had chicken and rice for chicken tonight and Mercy and Odesco hovered over me as I prepared plates...they both made it very clear that they were interested in something very specific..."I wan boon"...huh? with pointing, I realized they were both requesting a piece with a bone in it...a very rare treat in Liberia and they eat it all...the kids also like to pass food back and forth between each other...it is messy and works best if they sit next to each other without a sibling in between. Eventually we will have to squash this practice but, for now we have more important issues to focus on :)
**Every evening since the children have arrived, we have taken baths...my kids have never been so clean!! It seems to be a comforting part of their routine as Mercy and Odesco actually are used to taking 2 baths per day!!These kids do a great job washing themselves and throwing the cup of water over their heads with no qualms about getting water in their eyes. They are also expert handwashers and love hot water( Mercy won't even immerse her hands until it is good and hot!) which surprised me...but I was just told by one of the AOH workers that there is always a tub of hot water for washing available...so many of their preferences are starting to make sense!!
** Mercy was looking at me and running her fingers through my hair and she asked,"You cu yu ha?" (You cut your hair?) Thinking she was confused because I actually had time to blow it dry today , I explained that it looked different for that reason. She persisted.."No, no you di cu yu hai..I see i i the pictu" She was referring to a picture on my refigerator from a few years ago...she sort of whined and i asked her if she wanted my hair long so she could plait it to which she heartily agreed!!
** Mercy is thriving on routine already...after bathtime we slather lotion all over her, get PJ's on (always a dilemma... this girlie is quite particular-again another issue we are overlooking right now as we work on simple obedience issues!), and then choose clothes for the following day (again a painstaking but humorous process as she coordinates the socks and underwear to her outfit!) she neatly places them in a spot she picked out her first nite' here so that she can easily find them in the morning.
** Both Mercy and Odesco are cheerful helpers...I was sweeping the floor and Mercy got up from the table where she was eating. We have a rule about sitting at the table while eating so I was instructing her to sit back down..then she told me she was getting the brush and dustpan...and without being asked, she expertly cleaned up the piles I had formed :)

The final hour or so before bedtime seems to be the most challenging especially for our little Odesco. We did see progress yesterday as he obediently stepped out of the tub, allowed us to dry him off and put lotion on him...then he seems to shut down...stands stoically refusing to get dressed..this then progresses into a full fledged tantrum. We are thinking that bedtime is a particularly sad time for him and trying to work with him in this area...please pray that we would have wisdom and know what is blatant disobedience, what is grieving etc. This is not a pleasant way to end the day :( usually, he collapses in sheer exhaustion after relentless struggles to get out of bed, remove the blankets, throw the toys etc. He is a strong little boy and we pray that this strength of spirit will one day be directed for God's glory!!
* Okay, I have to share just one other evidence of God's tender mercies toward this Mommy but it will gross some of you out...in order to rule out the presence of parasites in their little bodies we need to take..ahem specimens to the lab to be tested. I will be honest and tell you I was dreading this because I could not imagine them cooperating with me to do this...well, today, I was able to catch both of them at just the right time (smile) and they both shocked me by instantly obeying and sitting on the makeshift potty I had prepared. This in my mind was nothing short of miraculous considering the struggles we have had these past few days....

Truly, He gently leads those that are with young! (Isaiah 40:11)
I am grateful today for His kindhearted, tender leading!! Thanks for checking in and for your continued prayers as we need wisdom during this intense time of transition.
Love,Mama B.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

When I am weak, He is strong!!

Well, today was my first day flying solo...it offically began at 4am with an intimate breakfast of lasagne(Thanks, Kim), turkey pot pie(Thanks, Sue) and a piece of ham (Thanks, Teresa)with sweet Mercy...I kid you not, she ate a helping of each of these before we settled in on the couch at 5am. Previous to this, I was up with Odesco who seemed to be having fitful dreams...he awakened flailing and crying out...we sat downstairs and rocked for quite a while until he fell back asleep.
This morning God faithfully heard many of your prayers on our behalf as we ventured out to the pediatricians for the TB skin test check a little after 9 am. Both kids happily climbed into their carseats and were not distressed at all during the car ride..In my mirror I had a great view of Mercy looking quite gleeful (with her purple sunglasses on upside down!)as we crossed RR tracks and hit various bumps...things that just 2 days ago had her crying out in sheer fear! I prepped both kids that we would be heading to the Drs to show the nurse our arms...then we'd say,"Goodbye"., and that would be the end of the visit...so, while they reluctantly rolled up their sleeves and extended their right arms, they didn't melt down... both kids even managed to smile at the nurse who had administered the dreaded shots on Tuesday...we drove home peacefully and I made sure I heaped the praise and containers of cut up ham upon my 2 little Liberians. My heart rejoices over this display of God's faithfulness.
The rest of the day was marked by relentless testing in all sorts of areas.I was having flashbacks to when our other 4 were about 14-18 months of age and testing their boundaries..Soecifically, the on/off switch on the TV/ the light switch to the basement while B4 is down there playing Legos, deliberate gleeful demolition of another sibling's duplo creation, refusal to sit at the table with food, ....you get the picture. Much of the day was spent with me bear hugging either Mercy or Odesco in the Living room glider as they flailed and screamed because they weren't allowed to do what they wanted to. Still there were bright spots...like when Odesco said, "Pese and Tankyou" without prompting, when Mercy very diligently used the dustpan and brush to clean up under the kitchen table when asked, when Odesco allowed me to rub cream on his very dry skin without pushing me away,and when Mercy unprompted, ran to the door to greet Daddy upon his arrival home from work.After dinner the kids had a boisterous time of giggling, laughter and just pure hysterics as they sat there cracking up at each other over nothing. Mercy and Odesco were babbling in their Liberian English, then B3 or B4 would do something and they'd all be in an uproar.This was followed by a very physical tickle time with all the boys and a happy bathtime. Bedtime was when Mercy and Odesco both decided they were going to challenge us once more but, I must say, though intense, the struggle seemed to resolve a bit quicker...I keep trying to appeal to Mercy's "desire" to please God and do the right thing... and keep praising her for the small but significant good choices she did make today.As I sat guard in the dark relieved that Mercy did not attempt to get out of her makeshift bed, I could hear another struggle going on across the hall .M was in the little boys' room having his eardrums blown out and his muscles worked out as he held tightly to a screaming, flailing little Odesco...I could hear Daddy reminding him that ,"I can hold longer than you can fight" and eventually there was the unexpected silence :)
So, there you have it...day 5 in our transition...thanking God for the many reasons to celebrate and praying for sustaining grace to hang on when it feels as if our strength will give out...thankfully, when I am weak, He is strong. Lord, do your work in the hearts of these little ones and help us to be faithful to display our commitment to love them for a lifetime with tender, long-suffering hearts!!!
Below are some pictures from the day ~
If you read this before friday at 2:30, please pray for us as Mark has the day off so we can take Mercy and Odesco for bloodwork. Pray that we will have wisdom in prepping them for this and that they will be as cooperative as possible. It is a satellite of Children's Hospital, so hopefully it will be a better experience than going to the local lab. Will update tomorrow :)

"Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight!" Bathtime for the littlest B's

Look what arrived in the mail today!! Mercy received her American girl doll, Addy a gift from Grandmom and Grandpop B..."Tomorro I wi pla he hai ", were Mercy's first words..(translation: "Tomorrow, I will plait her hair!")I reminded her to be gentle and that this is a very special doll with a very special pick to use on her very special hair!

Schooltime!After dinner, as B3 was finishing her schoolwork with Daddy, Mercy and Odesco decided thay wanted to join in as well...to my surprise and delight, Mercy can write many of her letters and she is right handed!!you homeschool moms can appreciate why this makes my heart glad :)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

His Mercies are New Every Morning...

By God's grace I can say that today was a day of small battles won, lots of giggles, smiles, and I think good progress in the bonding department. The day began at 4:30 am with Mercy standing at the foot of our bed, giving me "the stare"...then the glance to the stairs to indicate her desire to go to the kitchen for food. I asked her to use words and she was stone faced and distant...not wanting to raise the roof with everyone else sleeping, I brought her downstairs. She relented and whispered her usual,"Meat...pease"(please). As we sat there in the dark silence, I must admit my heart was filled with doubts..."Is this what attachment disorder looks like?...Will she ever open up and soften? Is our family forever changed in a negative way? When will life seem normal again?"....then God in His mercy did something...Mercy began to talk..so much so that I had pen and paper in hand to write down much of what she was telling me...usually she was answering my questions, other times she was just rambling. At one point I asked her if she read Bible stories at AOH and who she knew from the Bible...she told me, " Jesu...he make fishes, bread , wate"...I asked her if she knew what He did for her and she said,"he die on da cro fo my si"(ie:He died on the cross for my sins) That is how Liberian english sounds...ending consonants are dropped and it is a challenge to keep up with her when she speaks quickly....often I ask her to repeat it and she very dramtically says,"I sa....."
This girl has spunk and a determined spirit and I am really enjoying the challenge of trying to figure her out!! She is testing limits continually-giggles as she is doing it at times and flaps her arms in defiance like a chicken at other obstinate moments (I told her no more "chickie arms" allowed) ...honestly, I thought we had dealt with strong willed children before but the Lord was really just preparing us for these 2 feisty Liberians :)We had a couple of show downs today where she was drawing the line in the sand, so to speak and we let her know she was NOT getting her way...by God's grace, she chose to obey and we of course congratulated her obedience... the victory was short lived only to find her testing a few minutes later. Over time, I am praying she grows weary before we do and realizes boundaries are a good thing:) Today she accidentally stepped on B3's foot and she told her she was sorry without prompting...this was huge as I've read that empathy is not a typical trait of Liberian children.
Our cute little Odesco with the button nose woke up happy this morning...he is saying please and thankyou more unprompted and we had wonderful giggle filled playtime this morning in the back yard. This am when he was gearing up for another meltdown on the floor, we made the decision to pick him up in a bear hug while I rocked him in the glider...eventually he softened and relaxed to the point of falling asleep...later when it happened again, the loud crying lasted only 10 or 15 minutes and he was playful/smiling again. The most significant thing is he was smiling as I smooched his chubby cheeks...laughing as I showed him what butterfly and eskimo kisses were and absolutely hysterical while letting me give him belly busters. Usually he would just push away our attempts to show him love in this playful way.
So, small baby steps today but feeling the kindness of God breathing new life in my doubt-filled heart.
Tomorrow I am solo as Daddy has to go to work...we have to go to the doctors to get the TB test looked at but we can sit in the waiting room watching the video on the big screen...a nurse will come out to meet us. You can bet I will be well supplied in meat should the need arise:) So, if you are reading this, please pray that both children get in their carseats and don't blow our eardrums on the way...also pray that they will have short term memory loss and forget the trauma of the doctor's visit 2 days ago :) Seriously, pray that I would choose to avail myself of every drop of God's amazing grace ...and that I would give Him glory in the process.
Thanks for checking in!!
More pictures in the days to come, I promise!!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Small Steps...

A sunny breakfast with the B's-sunglasses required attire :)

~Bedtime Beauties~

The Platting Princess...Mercy loves to braid her babydoll's hair and is quite good at it!

What a cutie!!

Well, the last 2 days, my morning has begun between 4:30 and 5am with my sweet African Beauty ...she awakens and makes it very clear she will not be going back to sleep...she motions with her eyes that she would like to go downstairs..we hold hands as she awkwardly lumbers down the stairs (I don't think she was exposed to stairs in Liberia!) I take her to the refrigerator and ask her what she would like and she quietly whispers, "Meat"....so, I fix her a bowl of chicken and rice or whatever meal is leftover from dinner(from all of our wonderfully generous friends) and she polishes off every last smidge of food...then does the same with 2nd and even third helping ( I make sure the portions are small to start!) I can't explain the emotions swirling in my heart as I watch both of our Liberian children literally devour their food...I am so grateful that now that they are home, they will, Lord willing, never have to go hungry...but I imagine what it was like for them living in their homeland and my heart breaks :( Again, I need to trust that the Lord who loves them more than we ever possibly can will restore the years that the locust has eaten and will heal them of whatever hurts their little hearts have experienced in the years preceding their adoption.
After Mercy fills her belly, we climb back upstairs and she has a difficult time falling back asleep...I see her watching me but when I look at her, she avoids eye contact...soon I feel her playing with my hair and softly touching my face...I think these are good signs that she is reaching out to let me into her little heart...I need to treasure these tender moments because there are other times where her strong, obstinate spirit is boldly displayed and I sense her pushing to see just how far she will be allowed to go.During these times, she will literally turn her back on me and refuse to follow instructions...it seems the best thing to do is to go on with whatever I was doing and let her swallow her pride and come back to me when she is ready. We did have a major breakthrough today in this area ...yesterday afternoon we decided to go out in the van as a family...both Mercy and Odesco howled and pitched a fit when asked to get in their carseats (remember: riding in a vehicle is totally foreign to them and on the rare occasion that they did , no carseats were used!)We had quite a challenge getting them securely latched in and we decided to go for a drive to acclimate them to this...we drove through a Mc'Donalds once everyone was calm (took about 30 minutes!!)and bought french fries to share to try to salvage this experience and create a positive memory- food is definately such a motivator for them and for now,so early on it seems to be an effective tool. Because Mercy is older, I was able to show her the traffic lights and explain the colors and what they mean...so, we began playing a game..."The light is red,Daddy-STOP...the light is green, Daddy GO!!" I also was able to talk to her about how we respond obediently when asked to do something with a ,"Yes, Mommy or Yes, Daddy" response and when we returned home we practiced getting back into her car seat (with the van parked in the driveway )when asked and of course, made a huge deal of her "Yes, Mommy " and following obedience. This morning we talked and she told me,"I will not cry" when I mentioned we'd be heading out in the van today. True to her word, she was chipper, enjoyed looking at the Christmas decorations and playing the light game. We heaped the encouragement on her!
Odesco can be such a happy, smiley fun-loving ticklish little fellow one moment and withdrawn, cold, and so very sad/angry the next. We had several major meltdown episodes today when he was told "No". It seems like his response is delayed and a few minutes later he begins to cry...if we approach him, he lashes out, refusing to be comforted...this same thing happened yesterday and after a 15 minute tantrum on the floor, he allowed me to pick him up ...we came downstairs and he sat on my lap while I fed him his breakfast and drink...again, a good sign that he was allowing himself to depend on me..instead of being willfully independent.Today, it was a different story as he had one of these major episodes just moments before we needed to leave for their first Doctor's appt...he was a mess almost the entire ride there but calmed down once we got to the office and sat in the waiting room where a video was playing. The exam was a different story...he sat for part of it and when he decided he had enough, we moved onto Mercy...Odesco however was just warming up...he spent at least 45 minutes inconsolably screaming on the floor of the exam room ...the TB test and initial immunizations didn't do much to cheer his mood and you can imagine what an ordeal it was to administer the immunizations to both kids.{Mercy stared down the doctor and basically wouldn't open her mouth, turn her head etc. until I persuaded her with some meat I had stashed in my mini-cooler-an idea I got from Jenkin's mom who went through this yesterday and brought chicken to their appointment!. She suddenly became a bit more compliant...chocolate chips for me, Ham/chicken/beef for Mercy...quite the contrast!!} After the exams we waited in the room for more than 20 minutes with Mercy trying to escape and Odesco continuing his antics on the floor...eventually I went out to let them know we were just going to leave and was told they were now ready for the dreaded shots~ By the time we left, we were all exhausted (and I was on the verge of tears), including the very patient and understanding doctor and nurse!! At this point M took Odesco out to the van (he was still wailing-no shoes, only undershirt on...) and I worked on getting Mercy out...she decided she was not going to come willingly and I had to carry her out as she tried to squirm and wriggle out of my arms screaming at the top of her lungs the entire time.I even had to walk back in once Mercy was in the car, to retrieve all of our stuff that neither one of us could carry due to all the commotion. I hope this will be an opportunity for God's glory to shine forth in future visits as He continues to work on their hearts...oh, wouldn't it be nice if that could happen as soon as Thursday when I need to take them back in to get their TB skin test checked?!Once in the van for 10 minutes or so, both kids settled down and we again did the french fry thing again....they were both giggling and smiling before we got home!! Odesco had one more major meltdown this evening before bed...difficult to know why...after a happy , smiley bath time , he became extremely sullen, stood silently in his room with only the towel I had wrapped around him and refused to let me rub lotion onto his very dry skin ...he also would not allow me to let him get dressed so once again, we decided to back off...sure enough, a few minutes later, the tears began and eventually he allowed me to comfort him and get him dressed. B2 is so tender hearted for his little brother and was literally in tears over this behavior tonight. I asked if he was crying because of the changes happening in our family and he assured me that his tears were regarding Odesco's deep sadness...wow, what a tender heart. M wisely encouraged his tenderhearted love and reminded him to bring his burdens to the Lord, because it is only He who can heal Odesco's hurting heart. we were having a snack which to our biol kids means the sweet goodies that have been sent by our friends providing meals...for Odesco and Mercy, this means MEAT...so, I offered, meat to Odesco and he refused to make eye contact . I left it on the counter... a few moments later, he had it in his hand and he was quietly eating it at his seat . I told B2 that this reminds me of us...we are adopted into God's family and often, not approachable or grateful in the least... God extends His hand to offer us a feast at His banquet table and we foolishly refuse...until He breaks through our stony, prideful hearts we can't receive all the good gifts He longs to give us...just Like Mercy and Odesco often won't willingly receive our love in these early days....slowly, slowly I believe He will break through the untilled soil of their hard hearts ...one day, we will see dramatic change but for now, we will not despise the day of small beginnings!
Now for some neat moments/tidbits:
*Mercy knows her colors, ABC's, and how to spell her name(with no formal schooling I was shocked she knew even this much!!)
*Without prompting, Mercy began folding napkins to set the table for dinner :)
*Odesco and Mercy are with prompting beginning to ask for things more appropriately -instead of just demanding.."I want..." they are now saying,"Please/Thankyou...May I please be excused...etc
*Mercy and B3 spent over an hour today braiding their doll's hair...it is amazing to see Mercy squat there and braid like all the African nannies she surely watched in the orphanage...
* Life with African children is an adventure...simple things like light switches, running water from a faucet, battery powered toothbrushes are awe-inspiring in them!
* I "caught"Mercy and Odesco singing "Jesus loves me" together as they motored around the kitchen on little radioflyer scooters...this was after they blankly stared at us this morning as we all tried to get them to join us in a song...they acted as if they'd never heard it before...imagine my surprise when I heard them singing this just a few hours later...they know alot more than they are letting on...
*Adopting an older child sure has it's benefits: I love to ask Mercy questions like'
" Did you wear shoes in Liberia?"...The answer was, "No" which explains why walking seems so awkward for them at times...they aren't used to heavy, cumbersome sneakers!
*Both Mercy and Odesco came home without the photo albums we had prepared for them...Mercy told me she gave it to a specific nanny to keep for her in the small room...I'm hoping this will make sense to those who can help locate these impt books!! She also told me she looked at it often before she came to America...I am sure this has helped to prepare her heart for our family...
So, though it was at times a discouraging day, there were many bright spots and I am so grateful these little ones are finally here with us. How painfully patient the Lord has been with me...it is obvious that this will not be a simple, effortless transition. We may be out of circulation longer than I had originally anticipated to give the kids time to settle in...their entire lives have been uprooted so it really is no wonder that we are having these issues...My boundary lines have fallen in good and pleasant places...He has assigned me my portion and my cup...these issues are no surprise to Him...
Remembering once again that He will provide every grace needed to parent all 6 of these blessings...
His Grace is Sufficient!!
Thanks for checking in...and special thanks to all who have so generously provided meals for our family...you have no idea what a huge burden this has lifted as our days seem to revolve around mealtimes...to not have to think of what to prepare for 8 has really been a blessing!!